8 posts tagged “job search”
The fact is, I only have so much emotional energy.
It takes emotional energy to continue trying to improve my writing, to continue to seek publication in the face of repeated rejection. To say, "No, they're wrong," even though "they" are the experts and power-holders who could grant me entry into that world I so long to join, the realm of published authors; "No, they're wrong, and I'm just going to find someone else who is right," meaning, of course, some other pub that will give my work public play.
It takes emotional energy to deal with my temperamental genius son, who states with a straight face (and I can only believe him, the evidence supports it), "I like fighting and arguing, it's fun." It takes a great deal of emotional energy and creativity to find ways to motivate this stubborn mule, this freakishly annoying child, to adopt behaviors that will help him avoid making enemies everywhere he goes, especially when what works on him one week loses its effectiveness the following week. It takes vast reservoirs of emotional energy to feel the eyes of shop workers and other parents boring into my back and know they are thinking, "Get control of your kid," or "What a brat!" or "If my child ever acted that way, I'd do something about it," and say, "No, they're wrong, I AM a good mother, I'm doing the best I can and it could be a lot worse, and some of the things you wish I would try I HAVE tried and they only make him dig in his heels harder."
It takes emotional energy to send out resume after resume, to call back and wiggle my toe in the door, to attend interviews, to sell myself and my skills (when salesmanship has never been one of my strengths), and then to get the form letter rejection or no answer at all which must be interpreted as rejection after a certain length of time has passed; and to say, "No, they're wrong, they're missing out on a dedicated and talented employee and it's their loss. No, they're wrong and if they can't see that, then I wouldn't want to work for them anyway. And I'm just going to find someone else who is right," meaning, of course, someone who WILL hire me.
It takes a great deal of emotional energy to meet all the world's NOs time after time after time, with a great big fat NO of my own: "NO, YOU'RE WRONG. You're wrong about me, my skills, my creations, my child -- you're ALL WRONG and I will PROVE I'm right!"
And after shouting all of THESE NOs back at the world, I find I am out of the emotional energy that would be necessary to say, "No, I'm not going to eat that; no, I'm not hungry and even if I were, hunger is a good thing right now."
This summer, ever since about April, has been filled with all kinds of NO; and it has not been a good summer for my weight-loss goals. Not only am I not moving forward, I'm backsliding. All I can do right now is damage control, on the weight-loss front.
But I have a great need right now to feel like a success at SOMETHING; so maybe if I can just scrape up enough emotional energy to get back on that weight-loss wagon--that thing which is wholly under my own control, and does not depend in the slightest degree on the efforts or responses or judgments of others--then success there would help me refill my emotional reservoir enough to help with the other things, too.
So on that note, I am going to turn off my computer, go on a long walk that will end up at the local Rec Center, and then swim laps until I can't move my arms anymore.
Okay, not to disparage the fine skilled trades journeymen out there -- whenever we need one, we're always glad to see him (it always seems to be a him). But, I have privately labelled my saved job search as "Experienced Marketing Professional" and have included such keywords as "marketing, market research, marketing analysis, research, analysis, strategy, strategic, business analysis" -- AND NOT "sales, entry level, entry-level, engin$, accountant."
So can anybody tell my WHY this search CONSISTENTLY throws out for my consideration:
- Mechanical Engineer - Brake systems
- Senior Tax Accountant
- Entry-level Sales Associate
- Call Center Representative
- Administrative Assistant
and, most recently,
- HVAC Repair Technician Journeyman
?????
Okay, what's the point of specifying keywords -- and EXCLUDING certain other keywords -- if they're going to be ignored anyway???
The HVAC Repair Technician Journeyman job posting appeared in the same email alert as Senior Research Scientist and Sales Associate - No Experience Needed.
Now tell me, what skills, abilities, interests, or keywords could these 3 jobs POSSIBLY have in common, that ANY search engine would throw them all up in the same list of search results??? I mean, other than "could all be performed by ambulatory human being." I was hoping for something a LITTLE bit more specific than that.
Yeesh.
So people called me back yesterday. Not Wednesday, when I called them, of course, and the only people I actually got on the phone on Wednesday regretted (not really) to inform me that I hadn't made their short list. Hence, me cranky.
But, yesterday two of them called me back, and I have two interviews scheduled for next Wednesday. One job of which I am really, really keen on--though it may be the lower-paid of the two--the other I would certainly take if they offered it to me (one of the jobs that's less than 2 miles from my house).
(dope! ye of little faith...)
'Course, an interview isn't an offer, but it's certainly a step in the right direction.
(thanks for your support, everybody...)
Here's what he said recently when he began to overhear Mommy and Daddy talking about Mommy looking for a job:
Eldest Son: "But you already have a job!"
Me: "Not really, hon."
Daddy: "She stays at home all day with you guys."
Me: "--Not a paying job."
Eldest Son: "But you're an AUTHOR!"
***
Awwww! What a vote of confidence! Gems like that are what really get me thru the challenging times with this kid.
And now, a rendition of the words from my NEW favorite Sara Groves song:
"It's Going to Be All Right" from the album "Add To The Beauty"
It's going to be all right
It's going to be all right
I can tell by your eyes
that you're not getting any sleep
And you try to rise above it,
but feel you're sinking in too deep
Oh, oh, I believe, I believe that
It's going to be all right
It's going to be all right
I believe you'll outlive
this pain in your heart
And you'll gain such a strength
from what is tearing you apart
Oh, oh I believe, I believe that
It's going to be all right
It's going to be all right
When some time has passed,
and the story is retold,
It will mirror the strength
and the courage in your soul
Oh, oh, I believe I believe,
I believe
I believe
And I did not come here
to offer you cliches
And I will not pretend
to know of all your pain
Just, when you cannot, then I will hold out faith, for you...
I believe that it's going to be all right,
I believe that you're going to be all right,
I believe that we're going to be all right, I believe
It's going to be all right
It's going to be all right
***
This song has become my touchstone in recent weeks. Any number of recent issues, and some of you know some of them, and I'm not going into them now, but when I my brain starts to race in circles like a hamster on a wheel, on caffeine, I just touch this song in my head, and it all smooths out. Aa-a-hh-h-h. Calm.
The music that goes with these lyrics is so perfect too, just the most wonderfully apt sound to complement the sentiments.
(And, dear A., I thought of you the first time I heard this song, and how true it has been for you, over the past few years in your struggles to help J. with his late-talking.)
***
Sent out my two contest-finalist stories now -- having revised them based on the contest judges' feedback, plus feedback from my wiki buddies. So now have 5 stories out at various venues. So we'll see how that goes.
And, I have plans for the next two stories I want to finish up and get crit on, and then it's on to my next NaNo Novel! I'm going to start outlining and pre-writing for that in August, so that the result after November will (one hopes) be less flawed (possibly even worthy of being edited and submitted somewhere, who knows???) than the result from last year.
***
Now as for the job-search --
I've been taken aback by the response of someone who, when I called to follow up on my email application, essentially said she was going to toss my resume entirely and only because I'm not presently working. And, the others have not called back in response to my applications or, in some cases, my follow-up phone messages. It seems likely, for the same reason, and they just can't be bothered to tell me that.
Why am I taken aback? It's not like I didn't know this phenomenon existed. I've read the career columns in the Wall Street Journal over the past three years, even though I didn't then expect to be pursuing my former career. I guess the offer I got a few months ago made me over-confident.
But, I can tell you, from having taken long maternity leaves in the past -- 1 year, and then 6 months -- that my project management and analytical skills do not evaporate. And haven't still. It's just like riding a bike. Seriously. After a year off after Eldest Son's birth, when I finally went back to the office, it felt literally like I had left the week before. And I performed FINE until my next maternity leave.
Did I suddenly un-earn my Master's degree? Did my IQ really drop 50 points over the past 3 years? Did my quest for excellence lose its edge? Did my ability to learn new skills and absorb new info really atrophy to uselessness?
Or did I learn greater patience, greater tact, and the lesson that the direct approach is not always the effective one?
(Um. Those were rhetorical questions, BTW...)
Must think on this one.
How to convey this, without coming across as defensive and causing my overtures to be tossed with the cover letter, never mind the resume...
Hm.
Actually, I have an idea or two on that... We'll see how that goes. Yep, the old personal network -- it's really the only way...
But, it's gonna be all right. I believe that. (music humming in head)
Fortunately, I started this search before I HAD to, so I can afford not to land a job tomorrow.
***
Welp, that's all for now.
Cheers.
Well, I'm off. Off for a week's stay in the pristine wilderness -- with essentially NO internet access. (Imagine!) I mean if I GET to internet at all, it'll be an unexpected treat.
I mean we're not gone YET -- Precious Princess has to graduate from Safety Town, after all -- but I'm now embarking on a frenzied packing extravaganza, and should NOT be procrastinating on the web, any longer! Should NOT.
***
Eh - applied to 3 more jobs since last update. The 6th one is a bit of a stretch, given the nature of my experience; I'm quite sure I could DO it, but not sure I can convince THEM I could do it. I'm hopeful that I could at least get a callback or an interview at any of the other 5, but not so sure about #6. But what the hey, reach for the stars, right?
Decided that 2 others that at first looked decent, aren't right for me. One of them was just -- not a good fit. Couldn't rustle up much enthusiasm for either the company or the job, and, well, that's not a good attitude to sell yourself with. I'm definitely overqualified for the other one; I could do the job that job would report to, or maybe the one above that. But, the company itself looks like an excellent fit, so I favorited them & will check back frequently to see if anything more senior opens up.
I gave them all my cellphone & will follow up with them over the next couple weeks while on vacation, and hopefully have some interviews lined up for when I get back.
Depending on how all that goes, after that I'll begin Phase 2 if necessary: Personal local networking. *shudder* You know I'm an introvert, and I hate the idea of begging my friends for jobs; but, personal networking is what really works. And if they already know me and like me, then, they can at least tell me if their employer is hiring, and who to send the resume to, and give me the skinny on the corporate culture, and put in a good word for me, and all that. Well -- time enough after vacation to tackle that.
***
Okay, cheers, everybody! Take care of yourselves, & your loved ones, & your various and sundry pets, and the world! Back with ya in a week or two!
Okay, got 3 jobs applied for, and the adrenaline rush is still buzzing along.
Not sure I can focus enough for the next hour to complete any more cover-letters / applications today, but think I will still make a few phone calls before close-of-business. Just to get the right names to put on the cover letters. Then I can come back to it after the kids go to bed. Email never sleeps!
(Might be a good idea to go for a walk soon. The top of my head feels fizzy.)
(Wow -- this is what I used to be like at work. No wonder I got so much done. I did go through a lot of coffee back then. But the adrenaline -- the adrenaline now, that's what gives it that little extra oomph. I had no idea I would find my job search this exciting!)
(Actually -- I think it's because I always felt ambivalent about that last job -- always -- whereas these jobs I'm applying for now I could dive into whole-heartedly. Plus, I'm feeling more confident in this search -- since the people at the last job did give me an offer.)
zzoooommm!
-- I'm hyped on coffee and chocolate.
Last week (in a fit of child-induced freakery) I actually made a special trip to the EXPENSIVE grocery store (NOT the Big Box) and bought Reese's.
For myself.
Not the kids.
(I can't even remember the last time I bought candy for myself, rather than snitching it out of the kids' candy buckets behind their backs. The guilt of which at least keeps me from doing it more than once a day, or taking more than one little piece at a time, so's they won't notice.)
AND, I've been eating it.
UGH, I hate myself!!
I'm self-destructivizing on my weight-loss goals!!
And I'm not walking enough either, ON TOP OF the candy!
UGH, UGH, UGH.
(In case you didn't figure this out, I'm a stress eater. Oh, how I WISH I were one of those sickening people who forget to eat or can't eat when they're stressed!!)
And I'm hyped on coffee and chocolate RIGHT NOW because I'm about to kick my job-search into high gear.
I've done my web research and identified 7 decent-to-cool prospects (2 of them less than 2 miles from my house! Imagine, I could ride my bike to work!!!). I've collected contact info and job descriptions, and now I'm about to make phone calls, learn contact names, craft killer cover letters, tweak resumes, and shoot those babies out there!
YEAH!!!
(I'm hyped.)
(chocolate & coffee)
