18 posts tagged “goals”
But I'm not giving up on the writing.
Tomorrow I'm shipping out a piece that hasn't been tried with a pub since last summer -- and that (IMHO) is much improved since then.
So at this point I have 3 pieces out at various pubs, and 2 more up on my crit-group wiki. Hopefully my fellow wikians will give me some constructive crit there before I leave for vacation. I have pubs in mind for both of those two after the wikians have at them.
Tomorrow my in-laws are taking the kids, and I'm going to spend most of the day applying for jobs.
But, I'll also take the kid-free opportunity to drop that story in the mail -- although they love the Post Office. We have a nice man there who gives out stickers and lollipops to urchins. But, I will find it easier to wait in line without them!
Oh, PS -- my brother's wife had the baby this morning! Yay! -- Precious Princess's FIRST GIRL COUSIN!! (Yes, she did turn out to be a girl.) Too bad they live in Tennessee and we won't get to see much of them. But, I also have to get my baby-gift in the mail tomorrow as well.
Now all 3 of us are parents, and my parents have 5 grandkids. Whew! This time last year, my 3 kids were the only ones.
It's very weird to be this old. I don't feel as old as I am.
Bah.
Just got another one today.
That's what you get for throwing stuff at the "qualified pro" mags. Reality is, they have only enough space in a year's issues to print 3 out of every 1000 stories submitted by unknowns.
Which means, my story could be better than 95% of the stuff they see... and still not be good enough.
(Yet.)
Has to be better than 99.7% of the stuff they see. And, has to hit the right sub-editor on the right day in the right mood.
"Oh God, PLEASE not another vampire unicorn story! PLEASE!" --Toss.
(He-e-ey... a vampire unicorn! Now THERE'S an idea...)
Well, so, the stars haven't aligned yet.
Yet.
Won't accept as reality the highly disheartening receipt of two rejections lately.
Won't.
Those two stories just haven't found the right markets.
Yet.
And, I still haven't heard anything yet on the 3 pieces remaining outstanding, any one of which (IMHO) is better, really, than the two that have recently been tossed on the dungheap of history.
And, I still have one in development that's very close to being ready to submit.
And umpteen more that are just clamoring to be brought to life. Clamoring.
So, NO, I'm not going to reopen my search for a day job, I'm not going to be reasonable, be sensible, get real, I'm not, I won't.
NO, I said.
NO, I won't.
NO!
***
(the foregoing tantrum brought to you by the mother of Eldest Son, who just thought you might be interested to know where he got his stubborn streak... apple don't fall far from the tree, do it? D'Oh!!)
***
Huuuuu.
Huuuuu.
(that was me breathing deeply -- see earlier post on Eldest Son's Mother's Day book entry, "My Mother is very good at...")
***
Okay. All calm now. Brave determination mask firmly back in place over seething mire of insecurity.
Gonna go kick the butt of my latest work in progress, right now!
- C
...for reasons I will discuss in a later post.
In the meantime, a few updates:
- I haven't written a new word in almost 3 weeks. (For shame!!)
Fell out of the habit during the Disney vacation. In my own defense, however, it's not that I haven't worked on my writing during that time -- I've been editing the heck out of several pieces that were languishing in the first-draft-with-crit stage. These are the 3 -- no, 4 -- well, let's say 5 short pieces I want to get wrapped up and sent out before tackling my Novel / Trilogy / Series. Enough procrastinating on the edits, DANG IT!
- I'm also languishing on a plateau of weightloss. Or should that be weightlosslessness? Bah. Well, I still have 5 whole months to my 20th high-school reunion, so all hope is not yet lost!
- I've been enjoying my aerobics class (intimidatingly titled "Boot Camp") -- much to my surprise.
- I don't THINK I'll be homeschooling Eldest Son next year -- which is probably for the best.
Cheers,
C
This time, 10 Things I Want to Do Before I Die (and Haven't Done Yet):
(1) Go to Hawaii.
(2) Go to Alaska.
(3) Go to Australia. Heck maybe NZed too, while I'm in the area.
(4) Hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
(5) Go to Isle Royale.
(6) See my own personal name on a novel being sold in Borders. (Yeah!!)
(7) See each of my children grow up to be worthwhile citizens.
(8) Go on a mission trip. Our church has sent groups to... rebuild homes after Katrina; build housing for the poor in Mexico; Habitat for Humanity home building in downtown Detroit; home repair and minor construction on a Navajo reservation; provide free dental and medical care at a clinic in Nicaragua; and others that slip my mind at present. (I would love to have gone on some or all of these, but haven't yet b/c of my own kids... In about 10 years, maybe I'll go AND take one or two of them with me!!)
(9) Walk across the Mackinac Bridge (but that's kind of a cheapie, since I'm planning on doing that one this coming Labor Day).
(10) Go on a hot-air balloon ride.
Here's what I'm going to do in 2008:
(Yoda: There is no try! Only do, or do not, there is!)
(Yes, okay, I am taking my inspiration from the words of a little green guy with funny ears who was actually a muppet voiced by the same guy who did Miss Piggy. So what? There's so little wisdom in this world of ours, ya gotta take it where you find it!)
So HERE'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO, IN 2008!!!!!
- Get something published (no matter how small), for actual money (no matter how paltry), in some publicly-distributed magazine (no matter how obscure).
- Write 15 hours a week -- fiction, not blogging. Blogging will have to be after that commitment is met.
- Write a minimum of 3500 new words a week during those 15 hours of work -- including the time spent on research and learning the craft.
- Reach my target weight & size
- Dispose of all clothing larger than that size -- gone from my home, nevermore to be seen again on my person!
- Walk a half-marathon
- Walk across the Mackinac Bridge on Labor Day
Okay, so I totally backslid on my weightloss goals during the holidays. Make that, "ate myself to oblivion more times than I can count" and it would be more accurate. Anyway, when I get back to my pre-holiday low and start up my serious weight-loss efforts again, I'll let you know.
In the meantime, as of today, it should be easier to cut out sweets.
Today was really the Last Day in celebration of the Birthday That Never Ended. Cake; cookies; frosting; done. Finito, as of today.
Eldest Son turned 7.
It started on Jan. 2 while we were still up north at my parents' place for Christmas break. They gave him their presents then since they weren't planning on coming down here for the actual event. Then on Jan. 6 he got to be Child of the Day in Sunday School (for which I sent birthday cookies complete with home-made frosting). Also on that day we gave him our presents; we had been going to Grandma's for a family birthday gig, but Grandma had come down sick during the night so it was postponed. We gave him our presents as a sort of consolation prize for missing out on Grandma's house. (My husband's parents, not mine. They live 10 minutes away, mine live 4 hours away...)
Then the next morning, Jan. 7, his first day back at school and his actual birthday, he got to be like King For A Day in the classroom and I sent MORE frosted birthday cookies for his classmates to nosh on.
On Wednesday at our church buffet dinner, everyone sang Happy Birthday to him (as is our usual custom, to sing Happy Birthday to whoever had a birthday in the preceding week).
Yesterday we had his kid birthday party with select first-grade guests at Jungle Java, a new local attraction featuring a fantabulous indoor playpark (think ginormous McDonald's Playplace, multiplied by 10 or so) and -- you guessed it -- Starbucks-style java & healthy snacks for the mommies.
That was a big hit, and now Precious Princess and Littlest Brother are requesting that their next joint birthday party (because their birthdays are only 3 days apart from each other) be held there too.
So I made a cake with home-made frosting to take there -- the only food you are allowed to bring in, birthday cake when you book a party. Everything else, you have to buy theirs. It's not especially cheap. But, it is high-quality nutritious food (not a french-fry in sight), so it's close to being worth the high prices.
FINALLY, today we had the much-anticipated Grandma's Birthday Bash with MORE birthday cake and MORE frosted birthday cookies. My two nephews who also have January birthdays were present as well and their mom brought the cake.
I helped her frost the cake (train cars -- fancy) , and happened to snitch some extra frosting while nobody was looking.
DANG that frosting anyway!!!
Frosting is, like, nature's perfect food.
DANG it !!!
But, after today, I do not foresee any more frosting in my life until April, when Precious Princess and Littlest Brother turn 5 and 3, respectively. Also during that time will be Lent, and I have often before and will probably again swear off desserts during Lent.
So that'll help.
See, my main source of willpower for weightloss is, not to have it (whatever IT is -- the verboten food) within reach. If it's handy, I probably will eat it. So, don't MAKE any more cookies, or cake, or frosting, and I won't eat it. Problem solved.
I do want to reach my target weight this year.
Get thee behind me, frosting!!!
#1: Just Do It.
Quit yappin' about it, dreaming about it, wondering if you'll ever be good enough to actually do it... and DO it!
('S the only way to get better.)
#2: But do SOME prep work first.
Next year, when I do it again, I'm going to spend September and October whipping my outline into shape: What I want to achieve in each chapter, in terms of introducing characters, the dilemma they face, what they learn, how they develop... and oh yeah, how the plot moves forward.
#3: Make Conscious Choices on Point-Of-View: It's Crucial.
Probably the technical aspect of the writer's craft where I most need to develop my judgment is POV. Next time I do this, I'm going to spend a LOT more effort ahead of time, during the outlining process, planning out my POV.
From whose perspective should most of the story be written? Should I EVER show a scene which that character doesn't witness? To what purpose? And, if so, what alternate perspectives should I use? And why?
C.J. Cherryh, for one, in her "Foreigner" series, uses a 3rd person that is so deeply linked to her protagonist (Bren) that it FEELS like 1st person. She never shows a scene which Bren doesn't personally witness. You, the reader, NEVER know anything Bren doesn't know. Even what he witnesses, he interprets in the light of his own preconceptions -- sometimes wildly inaccurately. When other characters go off on mysterious errands, you, the reader, NEVER find out where they've been or what they've been up to until Bren does.
This gives the story a kind of breathless off-balance feel where you constantly feel like you don't understand what the heck is going on -- because Bren doesn't -- and you HAVE to keep reading so you can figure it all out at the end. It gives it momentum, like a runner leaning forward for the finish line.
Lois McMaster Bujold, however, does switch POV characters during a story. She does show things happening "off-stage" from her protag's action. This is usually when she's got more than one main character. For example: "Mirror Dance," in which Mark truly begins to develop a persona separate from wanna-be-Miles. Couldn't really show this unless half the book was written from Mark's perspective, not Miles's. (Also b/c Miles was technically dead during much of the book -- and the Vorkosigan universe is not a ghost-inhabited one -- making it rather difficult to show things from his perspective. Awfully boring, the inside of a cryopreservation tank, even if he had been conscious within it, which he wasn't.)
Or in "Komarr," where she wants to teach us something about Miles that he can't see for himself -- precisely BECAUSE it's a point of faulty self-perception -- she shows it through Ekaterin's eyes, watching Miles and speculating about him.
But the point is she makes these switches in a disciplined way, not just bouncing from person to person for no good reason.
#4: Slow Down.
A little. Only a little. Maybe 40,000 words in a month instead of 50,000. Give yourself a LITTLE time to add in some of those artistic details and fix a few of the more awfully awkward sentences. Bring down the wordcount average from 900 per hour to, say, 700 per hour -- editing time included.
#5: But Don't Slow Down Too Much.
Don't get so hung up on perfecting what you've already written that you fail to make forward progress in word count.
It will never be perfect at the end of the first draft! So stop trying to make it perfect.
It will never be perfect until someone else has read it and given you honest feedback about what is unclear, what is slow-moving, what characters feel wooden, what holes there are in the plot. Several somebodies, if you can drag them into it.
So your goal with the first draft is NOT to make it perfect, but just to make it to the point where you aren't ashamed for someone else to read it and give you that feedback, which is what WILL make it perfect.
#6: I Need Deadlines.
Even self-imposed ones. Which is all NaNoWriMo really is. Self-imposed deadline, and a nice friendly cheerleading squad to help keep you motivated to achieve it.
As I told various people about this over the past few weeks, many of them would look at me quizzically and say, "But what do you GET for it?" And I would have to say, "I just get to know that I did it." And they'd be like, "Oka-a-ay..."
Don't know why, the deadline spurred me on.
I've always done my best work under pressure, actually.
So I need to think of a new way to impose deadlines on myself.
*****
So that's it.
I've been thinking of adding to my self-descriptors, "Unpublished Novelist." ;-)
But, I think I'll wait until I've gotten this novel at least to first-draft stage.
50,000 words or not, it's still at a very rough-draft stage. Not even what I would consider a good first draft.
I don't think I can call myself a "Novelist," Unpublished or otherwise, until I have a novel that I'm not ashamed to wave under the nose of anyone who challenges me on the title!
*****
Thanks, everybody, for your unwavering support and enthusiasm!
It really means a lot to me!
- C (Author-In-Training)
In honor of which, I get to display THIS lovely sticker:
Final word count as of 10:00 PM on Tuesday, November 27, 2007:
50,157
And I even got my protag where she needed to go!
I'm so proud!
But you wanna know the funny thing?
Now that I've actually "done it" -- I don't want to BE done with it!
I'm on fire to go back and FIX it all!
Go back and outline what I've already got, then work out the character arcs and subplots and so on that I WISH it had, and then write a new outline to get me there, and then keep cranking it out!
AAAaaahhh!
I'm addicted!!!
Crossed 30,000 today... and still have at least an hour to work on it now that the kids have gone to bed.
Yeah, baby! Over the hump.
It's starting to feel fun again.
Plus, I've given my protag more to do, and that's satisfying.
"Only" 20,000 more words to go... and you know what? The great thing is, having pumped out 30,000 (at least marginally) coherent words in a row, 20,000 now really does seem like an "only" kind of number.
What a fabulous feeling THAT is!
(And I feel quite confident in saying that they are all correctly spelled, too!)
Is it great art, the kind I yearned to create, the kind that will outlive me? The kind that deals with deep themes of the human heart in a subtle yet powerful way? The kind that you can't put down until you have devoured it, or the kind that moves you to tears as you read it? Or -- still more rare -- both?
Welllll... No.
But that doesn't detract from the accomplishment that it IS. And it is something. WILL be something, when I hit 50K.
(And yes, great art does exist in speculative fiction. Asimov, Heinlein, Bradbury, L'Engle, Tolkien, Lewis -- all engendered fame that outlived them and are still widely read to this day, and I'm sure there are others. Movies are still being made "based on" their classic oevre -- or should that be oevres? -- and widely viewed & enjoyed.)
There will still be A LOT of work to do on this thing even once I hit 50,000. And it may always look like a "first novel." But you gotta start somewhere.
It's a little early to be looking around for my first Hugo!
(But may I at least possess the optimism of changing that "No" to, "Not yet"?)
:-)
