2 posts tagged “gnif-gnaws”

As in, thought I'd died and gone to.

So the kids have all decided to do Tae Kwon Do, and the local place has all their little classmates so we went there too and they offered us 3 free trial lessons.  They've all had their first free lesson this week.

Eldest Son is in a program for kids 8 & up (Karate for Kids), while Precious Princess and Littlest Brother are in Tiny Tigers (for ages 4 - 6). 

You see these little guys in there, holding up their little fists and piping out "ai-YAH!", fierce little scowls on their adorable muppet faces, and it's just about the cutest thing you ever saw! 

And they're all hooked. And I think it's gonna be a good thing.  (I was a little worried about it, for various reasons, but, I think it's gonna be a good thing.)

Actually, it looks like so much fun, I want to sign up myself!

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So, I'm gradually getting clients.  I'm on my sixth one now, and one client gave me repeat business already.  Good feedback on the jobs board.  Still, it's not reliable enough to be able to hire a regular nanny, even part time.  (Because, dear Punkinshell, I only get to hire the babysitter when the hourly rate I'm getting can justify it!)

Most of what I'm writing for pay has to do with business, marketing in particular.  And, in doing the research for these pieces, I'm actually getting a lot of ideas for what I need to do to get my own little business off the ground. 

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I'm also still working on my fiction.  Keep The Dream Alive!!!

I've got to get back to my novel outline.  Outlining Is Your Friend.  At least, it's mine.  Once I've got a good outline, things practically write themselves.  It's the getting to a good outline that's the challenge.     :-)

(In case you don't know what gnif-gnaws are -- I can't recall now if that's a bit of family dialect or I first heard it at work, my old work back at Auto Company B, or C -- they are little miscellaneous grimbly bits of this 'n' that. 

Pronunciation:  the g is silent.  I suppose you could just as easily spell it with a silent k, but I prefer the g, b/c it's like, "gnats" and "gnomes" and like that.  Little things like that.)

Today's Gnif-Gnaws Are:

- Precious Princess and Littlest Brother now DO have secondary infections.  Ah well.  I don't think I do, yet.  This virus is hanging on forever, though.  I actually think it might be the flu; we all aren't lying flat on our backs in bed, groaning, only b/c we had the flu shots back in the fall.  I've heard that sometimes with the flu shot, you still can get the flu, but a milder case.  Anyway, it's taking forever to get over, so it seems worse than a regular cold.

- The counters are still a mess, but, I actually think I may hit them today.  After the dishes and the laundry.  Later this week, I've got to tackle the computer room table.  Grandma gave the kids her old computer, and we need a place to set it up.

- PS, I hate feeling pitiful!  Gah, I hate coming to the blog and whining!  (That's part of why I haven't been blogging much, lately...) 

The last few months, I've just gotten so tired of putting up a brave front; I do that everywhere I go in person these days.  Because, honestly, most people really do not want you to burst into tears and crumple up in a heap on the floor when they ask you how you're doing. 

Speaking of emotional energy, it takes a lot of that to put up a brave front everywhere you go.  And if you think that everywhere you go you might make contacts who could put in a good word for you if they hear of a job opening, or might hire you for freelance work (which is true), you can't go around looking defeated.  If YOU don't have confidence in you and your abilities, then why should they?

I HATE failure.  HATE, HATE, HATE it!!  I hate LOSING.  I don't always have to WIN (there are lots of activities in which nobody wins unless everybody does), but I hate to LOSE. 

The only way to be SURE of not losing, to be SURE of not failing, is never to try.  You won't WIN, either, you won't SUCCEED, but at least you won't fail.

That's very tempting, actually, very tempting.  I have never been tempted by that course of action (or rather, inaction) before, but I am now.  In the aftermath of the events of January, I felt -- I still feel -- trampled.  Eviscerated.  Smashed flat.  In that state, it's very hard to face the possibility of new failures.  

You know, some of those Mechanical Turk activities are so easy a trained wombat could do them; very difficult to fail at those.  So it's easier to plug away at those for an hour or so than to fill out yet another job application that you know in your heart is going to hit the circular file. 

So.

What I HAVE done, what I've FORCED myself to do, bracing myself to bear up against the (at this point, seemingly inevitable) failures to follow:

- Over the past month, I have submitted 6 different short stories to various publications.  About half of them have been rejected already, and I've turned around and submitted them elsewhere.

- I've set myself a goal of applying to a minimum of 2 jobs per week until I get one.  I did apply for 2 jobs yesterday, so check that off for this week.

- I've set myself a goal of getting up and running at several reputable on-line freelancing boards.  I identified several that have good ratings at the Better Business Bureau (and a few that don't, which I will be avoiding).  So, check off that accomplishment.

- I completed my profile yesterday on one of them, so check that off for this week.  

- I'm ready to start submitting bids on that freelance board.  I can submit 10 bids this month (that's the level of my subscription there) and I fully intend to use up ALL of them.  That means I need to prepare 5 proposals this week and 5 next. 

- I've also set myself a goal of contacting at least 2 former professional colleagues per week, to let them know I'm looking for work and ask if their employers have any openings.  Haven't done that yet this week.

So.

Failure is only temporary.

Now for those counters.