It's all good

Yes, at the end of the first week of my being back at work full-time, I can honestly say...

The kids are doing just fine without me; in fact, they seem to be doing BETTER without me. 

The nanny has reported no trouble whatsoever in getting them dressed and out the door; she is probably wondering why I went to such pains to explain the certain emotional volatility of certain of our children, during the interview process. 

Eldest Son's teacher has not called to report any problems, and in fact, she placed a "compliment call" about him last week.  She too is probably wondering why his parents are such neurotic worry-warts. 

Littlest Brother is doing great at his preschool 2 days a week, and continues to be just a non-stop smiler whenever he's awake.  So far he seems quite resilient, and I'm hoping that will continue to be true.

I'm doing better too. 

I've been able to stick to my diet this week, and if I could only shoehorn in some exercise, I feel confident I could get back on the weightloss bandwagon. 

(Which would be unfortunate in a way, since I just spent an absolutely shocking amount of $$ on "professional-casual" attire at Coldwater Creek.)  (Gosh, I adore their stuff!  Just ADORE it!!! ) (And, my first week has convinced me that I guessed right & the Coldwater Creek stuff I bought is exactly the right balance for this particular office, in terms of professionalism vs. comfort.)

Absence really makes the heart grow fonder. 

I am more patient, more soft-spoken, more willing to serve them (the children), than I was when I was with them all day, every day. 

What I mean by this is, now when I am with them, I smile at them more instead of glowering.  I laugh with them more instead of yelling.  I motivate them more instead of punishing.  In short, I am positive that, now when they DO see me, they can be much more rock-solid in their knowledge that I love them, than when I was with them all day. 

It humbles me to admit, but I know it to be true:  I am a better mom for not being full-time mom.

A lot of full-time moms out there are predisposed to believe this could not be true.  That if you truly loved your kids, you would want to spend every waking minute with them, all day, every day.  If you are one of these moms, just be grateful that God made you that way, and try not to judge those of us who are made differently.

I truly, truly wanted to be that person.  I gave it my best shot for over three years, and I couldn't make it work.  I couldn't plug in a personality transplant.  We were all just getting more and more miserable.

It is going to work out a lot better this way.