Hear Me Roar

So I passed a turning point this week. 

Tuesday night.  I was weeping after taking Eldest Son to his orthodontist appointment (which is a whole 'nother story).  Had nothing to do with E.S., for a change; had to do with *the other thing*.  (Where the orthodontist is located, I had to make a certain drive, which I hadn't done since *That Bad Day,* and it brought out all kinds of self-flagellating thoughts.)

Gosh I'm constantly bursting into tears these last few months; and I'm so darned sick of myself!

Piece of advice that I can't remember where I read (just letting you know I didn't make it up):  "Don't waste tears on something that's not going to cry over you."

Do I honestly believe that *those people* are even still thinking about me?  Why should I give them that power over my life, that months after the fact they can still make me cry?

No, by God, it's time to reclaim my life!  It's time to reclaim my town!  My school!

MINE.

It was MY school, MY town, MY life, long before *they* came into it, and I'll be damned if I let them ruin it for me!

Nope.  Not gonna let it happen.  At least, not any more. 

They say living well is the best revenge.  And baby, I'm gonna. 

My life, my way, on my terms, for my family.  MY definition of "living well."  Gonna live well MY way and I won't have any regrets.

So, HAH.

Dear Husband caught me at it, after I got home with the kids, and thus spake he:  "It wasn't meant to be.  It wasn't in God's plan.  Frankly, I don't know how we'd have survived the past few months, all these meetings at school, Dr. K, and so on, if you had still been working there.  Anyway, this work-at-home thing could take off and be way more lucrative in the long run.  And until then, it's definitely more flexible."

Ah, my voice of reason!  Frankly, *I* don't know how *I* would have survived these past few months, without him around to keep me sane. 

But, for some reason, this time when he said it -- I believed it. 

(*cue up "Eye of the Tiger*)

PS, I AM going to take up Tae Kwon Do along with the kids!  At least, I'm gonna take 3 free lessons, like they did.

If my life were a movie, this is the point in the script where the protag gets the Symbolic Cutting of the Hair, plus montage of other Life-Makeover scenelets, set to music. 

It's true I do need to get my hair cut, & colored, but what I did today was, bought blue nail polish at Meijer's and painted all my fingers & toes.

Heh.

A writer can do that.

My midnight-blue fingertips can scamper over the keyboard, while my midnight-blue toes snuggle up inside my fuzzy slippers, and life is good.

On the internet no one knows what color your fingernails are.    

Note to world:  I'm BA-A-ACK!

:-)